Why Wanting It Isn't Enough (And How to Close the Gap)

Read Time: 3 min / Listen on the Podcast

A friend of mine invited me to a small mastermind she was hosting for entrepreneurs.

Different levels, different industries, different everything. And I wasn’t there to be coached. I was there to help her run the room on the backend and give her feedback later. My job was logistics, friend duties.

But you know what happens when you put a coach in a room where coaching is happening? Your brain starts going; it’s like you can’t turn it off. I mean, think about your own profession or something you know/do really well! You can’t help yourself; you start teaching/coaching inside your brain.

Group Settings Are Powerful

So I sat there, quietly, watching person after person get walked through their stuck spots. But what I found so interesting is that while I was watching THEM get coached, I was somehow finding my own stuck spots.

Every hidden belief that surfaced in someone else’s “hot seat coaching”...made me think about my own stuff. Every “I’ve been meaning to, but...” landed a little too close to home for me 😅

And then there was a prompt my friend gave the participants, one I have been given before:

• What’s something you’ve been wanting to do, but keep postponing? 🤔

Sit with it for a second before you keep reading.

What typically happens is you think of “that thing”...and then you immediately want to defend why you haven’t been able to execute on it. And often, we assign the blame to something outside ourselves. Work, money, time, kids, schedule, unexpected this, unexpected that. The list goes on.

The Research is Clear

Here’s what the research says, and it’s kind of annoying, haha. There’s a psychologist named Peter Gollwitzer who spent decades studying the gap between “intending to do something” and actually doing it. He found that wanting the outcome badly enough doesn’t get you there. Holding a strong goal is not enough to predict whether you’ll actually pull it off.

What actually closes the gap is getting SPECIFIC about when, where, and how. In one of his studies, hard goals got completed about THREE TIMES more often when people attached a concrete plan to them.

We get addicted to the “intention”...seeing it on our “manifestation or to-do list.” But that’s not enough. The Universe isn’t going to just Amazon Prime it to your house. You have to become a vibrational match for it! What are YOU going to do to get it in motion? Because your cute little intentions are not enough.

And I know that might sound a little mean, but if it makes you feel any better, I said this little pep-talk to myself too. At my friend’s mastermind, actually, while I was watching all those people be put through the hot seat! I put myself in the hot seat and realized a few things.

My Confession

Something that’s been sitting on my “list” for my business is doing more livestreams. Pulling people up and doing live coaching in real time. No editing, no filter adjustments, no “hooks” to write. Just me, you, doing the work.

I made all sorts of excuses like, “my schedule is too unpredictable,” “I don’t always have someone to manage the backend,” “I don’t have time to promote it.” So I focused on creating short-form content instead. And then THAT started to fall off. I didn’t want to do the editing. I got overwhelmed trying to keep up with trends. And trying to do the AI editing everyone is doing now. Ahhhh.

So I had to get real honest: what was going on with me? Why am I being so inconsistent?

Well, after sitting with it...I got burnt out and bored. I didn’t want to feel like I was “creating content” anymore. I’m in a period where I just want to do what I love: teaching and coaching. That’s it.

You know what fixes that? Livestreams. No editing required.

So to get CONCRETE about my plans and not just state them as INTENTIONS...

On September 3rd, I’m going live. No script, no editing, no thumbnails or hooks to perfect. Just ME and YOU showing up to the present moment.

I’m going to run 15-minute hot seats, where you bring a current challenge you want coaching on, and we’ll dive in. I’d love to do these maybe twice a month, but first let’s start with doing ONE and see what happens 🤗

And here’s the best part: even if you’re not the one in the hot seat, watching other people get coached does something for you too. It’s why people love shows like HBO’s “Couples Therapy” haha. We learn by being in the room together. Something in us recognizes our own stuff in someone else’s story.

I think a lot of us are starved for that real-time connection. It’s a lot more fulfilling than the passive consumption we do as we scroll through Instagram and TikTok.

By the way, YOUUU get first dibs for the hot seat. My newsletter subscribers. Just as a thank you for being in my corner, a supporter of my work. Whether you’ve been here for years or just recently joined, I appreciate you.

Focus For the Week

Name the one thing that’s been sitting on your “to-do” list the longest. The one you keep pushing off. The one you find excuses to come back to later.

Figure out a way to get started. Even if it’s a tiny step! I have a client who wanted to start selling these crafts she makes in her spare time on Etsy, but she didn’t “know where to start,” and she was “too busy” with her day job. Of course, as her coach, I didn’t let that slide. By the end of one of our calls, she made a 30-minute commitment every Saturday morning to take action.

Week one, it was just watching a YouTube video about opening your own store on Etsy.

The second week it was about learning what an “EIN” is for taxes.

The next week it was thinking of a name for the store.

And then what do you know...she magically started to find MORE TIME to dedicate to this goal because it was feeling MORE and MORE real!! The excitement, the joy, the curiosity began to shift her energy and her mindset.

I share this to say...don’t think you need to magically get this “thing” you’ve been postponing DONE in one day. It’s more about just attaching a specific action item to it. Even if it’s just 30 minutes a week. Sounds silly, but remember…the research showed us that this will TRIPLE your odds.

That’s why I gave you a specific date for the livestream. Because now it’s out there. Accountability!!

Remember, the timing will never be perfect.
You will never feel fully “ready” or fully “resourced.”

All you need to do is simply DECIDE to get started.

That’s it.

One More Thing

Before you go, I’m thinking about doing the livestream at 12 PM or 5 PM since I am on the West Coast. However, if enough of my readers suggest a different time, I’m willing to adjust! You can choose a time through this poll.

Thank you for helping me get closer to EXECUTING on my Livestream goal 🥳
I have some other cool stuff planned for early September, something where you and I get to deep dive for 10 days on the subconscious mind. Helping you identify what patterns and programs may be keeping you stuck!

If you’re not already a subscriber to my Substack or my Newsletter…you’re going to want to change that FAST.

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